Quote of the Day (2013-04-30)

Archie Bunker: You'd better start mixing toothpaste with your shampoo. You're getting a cavity in your brain.

Source: All in the Family

Quote of the Day (2013-04-29)

Inigo Montoya: You are sure nobody's follow' us?

Vizzini: As I told you, it would be absolutely, totally, and in all other ways inconceivable. No one in Guilder knows what we've done, and no one in Florin could have gotten here so fast. - Out of curiosity, why do you ask?

Inigo Montoya: No reason. It's only... I just happened to look behind us and something is there.

Vizzini: What? Probably some local fisherman, out for a pleasure cruise, at night... in... eel-infested waters?

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-04-28)

Carolyn Burnham: Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once!

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2013-04-27)

Sir Humphrey: "Hello Bernard, I hear the Prime Minister wants to see me?"

Bernard Woolley: "Yes, Sir Humphrey."

Sir Humphrey: "What's his problem?"

Bernard Woolley: "Education."

Sir Humphrey: "Well, it's a bit late to do anything about that now."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-04-26)

Jim Hacker: "Honesty always gives you the advantage of surprise in the House of Commons."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-04-25)

In the frozen land of Nador they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels. And there was much rejoicing.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-04-24)

Bren: Well, honey, doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream...

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2013-04-23)

It's a fine line between clever and stupid.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2013-04-22)

And the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-04-21)

Archie: Whatever happened to the good old days when kids was scared to death of their parents?

Source: All in the Family

Quote of the Day (2013-04-20)

Lilith: I'm here for a convention and I happened to hear your voice on the radio. I kept hoping you'd introduce Pearl Jam's latest hit, but much to my chagrin, you were doling out worthless little advice pellets from your psychiatric pez dispenser.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2013-04-19)

Derek Smalls: We're very lucky in the band in that we have two visionaries, David and Nigel, they're like poets, like Shelley and Byron. They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2013-04-18)

Diane: Oh no. The thing I feared most has happened.

Carla: What? Your Living Bra died of boredom?

Source: Cheers

Quote of the Day (2013-04-17)

Here's a riddle for you. There's 200 million people in America. A hundred million of them are men. They lose four socks a year, conservatively. I lose ten myself. That's 400 million missing socks. Missing forever. Where are they? Nobody ever sees them again. You'd think you'd run into one of them every once in a while.

Source: Heartburn

Quote of the Day (2013-04-16)

Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, as Cabinet Secretary I am, of course, most eager to reduce public spending, but as Head of the Civil Service, I am responsible for the very real dangers which will arise administratively if a pay rise does not come through very soon. It's so difficult for me, you see, as I am wearing two hats."

Jim Hacker: "Yes, isn't that rather awkward for you?"

Sir Humphrey: "Not if one is in two minds."

Bernard Woolley: "Or has two faces."

Jim Hacker: "Perhaps I should relieve you of one of them?"

Sir Humphrey: "Oh no, no, no. I am perfectly happy with both of them."

Jim Hacker: "Faces?"

Sir Humphrey: "Hats!"

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-04-15)

Gloria Bunker-Stivic: Daddy, did you know that sixty percent of the people murdered in this country in the last ten years were killed by guns?

Archie Bunker: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?

Source: All in the Family

Quote of the Day (2013-04-14)

Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.

Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.

Reg: What's the *point*?

Francis: What?

Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?

Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2013-04-13)

Dot: Now you take that diaper off your head and you put it back on your sister!

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2013-04-12)

Vanessa Loring: You think you're really going to do this?

Juno MacGuff: Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.

Vanessa Loring: That's great.

Mark Loring: Keep it in the oven.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2013-04-11)

Kramer: "Karate. It's a lifetime pursuit of balance and harmony."

Jerry: "But with punching and kicking."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2013-04-10)

Fezzik: You never said anything about killing anyone.

Vizzini: I've hired you to help me start a war. It's an prestigious line of work, with a long and glorious tradition.

Fezzik: I just don't think it's right, killing an innocent girl.

Vizzini: Am I going MAD, or did the word "think" escape your lips? You were not hired for your brains, you hippopotamic land mass.

Inigo Montoya: I agree with Fezzik.

Vizzini: Oh, the sot has spoken. What happens to her is not truly your concern. I will kill her. And remember this, never forget this: when I found you, you were so slobbering drunk, you couldn't buy Brandy!

[turning to Fezzik]

Vizzini: And you: friendless, brainless, helpless, hopeless! Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed in Greenland!

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-04-09)

Joan Littler: "What I insist on knowing is what is the actual difference between dioxin and metadioxin."

Sir Humphrey: "Well, that's quite simple. Metadioxin is an inert compound of dioxin."

Jim Hacker: "I think I follow that, Humphrey, but could you explain it a little more clearly?"

Sir Humphrey: "In what sense, Minister?"

Joan Littler: "What does inert mean?"

Sir Humphrey: "It means it is not......ert."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-04-08)

I soiled my armor I was so scared!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2013-04-07)

Inigo Montoya: Hello there. Slow going?

Man in Black: Look, I don't mean to be rude but this is not as easy as it looks, so I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't distract me.

Inigo Montoya: [apologetic] Sorry.

Man in Black: Thank you.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2013-04-06)

Lester Burnham: You don't think it's kinda weird & fascist?

Carolyn Burnham: Possibly, but you don't want to be unemployed.

Lester Burnham: Oh well, all right, let's all sell our souls and work for Satan because it's more convenient that way.

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2013-04-05)

I have a vewwy gweat fwend in Wome called Biggus Dickus.

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2013-04-04)

Jim Hacker: "Fortunately Bernard, most of our journalists are so incompetent that they have the gravest difficulty in finding out that today is Wednesday."

Bernard Woolley: "It's actually Thursday, Minister."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2013-04-03)

Lisa Simpson: But I'm so angry.

Marge Simpson: You're a woman. You can hold on to it forever.

Source: The Simpsons Movie

Quote of the Day (2013-04-02)

Tyler Durden: The things you own end up owning you.

Source: Fight Club

Quote of the Day (2013-04-01)

"It's smart. It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it. And I'm not going to dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience!"

Source: Seinfeld